My Horse Racing Christmas Wish List

There are plenty of things on my Christmas Wish List this year. (Photo credit: Horse & Hound Gallery, Christmas Cards by Susany).

With just a couple of days left before Christmas, I thought I would let everyone know a few things on my Wish List.

Being in the horse racing industry going on three decades, I do have low standards. I really don’t ask for much.  I have tried to ask for reasonable things over the years and it just does not pan out.

I have lowered my standards to an all-time low:

    • Can someone, anyone slap Ron Ellis in the head? He seems like a good guy and has a clean record, but not scratching Masochistic from the Breeders’ Cup Sprint (G1) was just downright stupid.
    • How about tracks try this stagger post time thing? Tracks in the UK and Australia seem to have it figured out, but here in the good old U.S.A tracks owned by the same company run on top of each other daily.
    • Can a couple of the talking heads on TVG stop having on-air orgasms every time there is a Pick 6 carryover? And stop with the caveman tickets that are sucking some of your viewers’ bankrolls dry.
    • Can somebody give the Southern California stewards an IQ test?
    • Can the industry just get rid of Ramon Preciado once and for all? I’d recommend two cement blocks tied to his feet.
    • Can a certain clocker stop telling us on Twitter how damn smart he is? Listen dude, you really are not. You just get up earlier than everyone else, that’s all.
    • Each Tuesday, can somebody remind me how to pronounce Mahoning Valley?
    • Can anyone explain to me how to get around the new BRIS web site?
    • Can somebody convince Bob Baffert to commit Arrogate to the Pegasus World Cup already? I want to reserve my $50 parking space at Gulfstream Park.
    • I could use a new mattress but if you buy it from Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale don’t tell him it’s for me.
    • I’d like to get Gary Stevens’ old knees and hip. His discards are still probably better than mine.
    • Can somebody purchase Parx and Penn National and turn them into shopping malls?
    • Can the industry get rid of steroids once and for all and then bring back Rick Dutrow? I miss him.

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